On the ... my mom

suddenly something reminds me of my mom .. the one that I’ve hardly seen for the last 7 years .. she had her b’day last week … especially during a quiet day like this, my mind is flying on her, thinking about what my mother do right now … playing with riry and rere? or just preparing their meal or their milk? or just playing with spider solitaire, the only game she knows on computer .. or just simply watch her fave tv program, or just listen to her fave old records from the cassettes that she has collected during the years ……

she was a village girl, who was separated from her parents since she was very young, to be raised by her grandparents (never understand about all those cultural stuffs) … lost her mother in a very young age … which explain me how she loves and even spoils her children very much … especially the spoiling part, in her words, she always said that she doesn’t want her children to be grown up without mother’s love like her ….. in addition .. with the traditional type family I have where the man work to feed the family and the woman stay at home … so I grew to be very close to my mother … even in some sense .. I owe a lot of my personality from her ….. I grew as a mommy’s boy …. yes, I always feel lucky to be raised with the warmth of my mother

I always remember my adolescence day, when in many times I brought a bad news and strange news (or even stupid news) about anything that most of the time displeased her (and for sure gave her a headache…) … so, even I grew as mommy’s boy, I was far away from mommy’s sweet boy .. problem that I gave her was always about academic and school discipline (eventough I was always educated in catholic school, which are famous with the strict rule and obligation .. in some way I always have my reason just to disobey them… huehehehehehhehe) … which from my aunties word, I was pretty similar to my mom childhood behavior ( I am a copy of my mother I assume …) …. however .. in many ways, she never forbid me to be what I am …. and believe me, it taught me a lot .. her patience with me was amazing …. even in some sense I still cannot understand how can I be highly educated …

always remember her as homie person who always make her children as her first priority …. who never regrets her decision to stay at home and left her work after she got married …. and still never regrets that decision even the financial situation got worse, since she believes that her children is her future … …. very religious person who always reminds me to be faithful in God…….

in many ways I am very similar to my mother .... her straight forward and cynism speak is in me ... the sense of humor and unique style of driving ... we share the same interest on nice clothes and fancy food ... avid coffee lover and kunfu movies ... one thing that also surprise me .... she always teach me how to treat a girl ... to become gentle and never break their heart (which in many cases, it happened in the oppoisite direction and way ... huehehehehehe ... ) .... and in many ways, I have copies of my mother personalities ... always proud about that ....

I realize in many ways I am still not be able to please her as I want her to be … she always has these dreams to see the mountains in swiss or to fulfill her compassion about Netherlands as her grandparents always told her about (eventough they also have never been in Netherlands …) and yaps, not to be able to accompany her in her old age is a burden to me ….

Miss you mom, a lot ….