On the ....... first timer ...

I hate the weather ... it is changing every day and somehow it doesn't have any positive effect on my health ... I was a bit ill last week ... got better after the weekend ... and now in the office i feel a bit chilly ...and finally i realized that i have a fever a bit ... not really a big issue actually ... but reasonable enough to ruin my mood (hayahhh ... kayak wanita saja ente ... ) ... and when the mood is gone, everything is useless ... have tried to read some of the junks in my unorganized desk and managed to read one paragraph for half an hour .... but somehow nothing really stuck in my brain ... so instead struggling to do some useless stuff (wkwkwkwkwkwkwkwkwkwkwk ....) and since nothing is really exciting in my screen ... i decided to do this blog instead ... well it is better to produce something instead of sleeping in my desk (yeah right ... fooling my self .. kind of my hobby actually ... huehehehehehehehehehehe) ... well ..... at least (actually) today is not that useless ... for the first part of the day i managed to use my time for a greater purpose (wkwkwkwkwkwkwkwkwkwk ... aslinya mah sebenernya kepaksa) ....

eniho .... I had a new experience today .... it started yesterday when my boss phoned me and asked me if i can replace him to give a lecture for today ... surprising and also made me nervous ..... and to be honest, it is a bit scary because i have no experience to give a full lecture, and it is for graduate student, which most likely not like a kid anymore (even though i surely know that some people never really grown up ... hehehehehe ... me and my sarcasm ...)... but since most of students are european, i can calm myself actually .... yeah starting the lecture is the most difficult part ... and writing in the blackboard is not really my strong point (hehehehehehehe .... sorry my student if i miss the "power" signs...) ... but somehow i kind off enjoy it ... and especially encouraging when you know that your student is simply following your talks, and for sure i am glad that they were quite responsive when i posed some questions ... yaps .. i learned quite much during those two hours .... and extra half an hour to answer some extra questions ... i kind of enjoyed it actually .... ok, it wasn't the greatest lecture, as i made some mistake also here and there ... but i got a positive impression for my talks ... so thanks students ... i hope you will not curse me behind my back (or if you are, please make sure i will not know ... wkwkwkwkwkwkwkwkwkwkwk) ....

anyway, i start to think if i really reasonably have a talent to teach ... well actually it is kind of something that i deny all these times ... since become a teacher as full time job is really boring from my view .... and even my father is a lecturer, i never really want to follow his footsteps, since like said before, it is a boring job!! ..... but somehow, i agree for one thing, a quality that my father has is somehow also in me .. yes, my father is a lecturer by choice ... he likes it and he dedicates his life for that ..... once i was in his class when i was young ( i am still young now .... hahahahahahahahaha ....) and i found that he is quite a good teacher, he saw his students eyes, he has a systematic way to explain something .... but somehow he is quite tough to his student (hehehehehehehe ... makannya saya gak pernah mau diajar ama dia ...) ..... yaps, without realized it, i have my father's print mark .... which i think ... i have start to use it more often ... but still ...even though i still don't want to become a full time teacher .... i will not deny anymore that i like to teach and giving lecture ... so maybe ... somewhere and someday ... i can find that kind of ideal place for me ... well God ... i believe You have a plan for me ....

for the closure ... i am quite surprise to talk for one and half hour with this "compact" material ... hehehehehehehehe ... surprising, because in the beginning, i thought that i can finish my class in 30 minutes .. but hey .. who knows .....